Welcome to GordoNation

I think I have a meeting with a vendor at two o'clock today. They better make it quick. I've got a Royals game to watch. Also, I've got parent teacher conferences tonight at 5:40. MLB really screwed me with this day game today.  

The good news is that my kid's teacher is a huge Royals fan, so I'm sure she'll probably just listen to the radio with me for 40 minutes instead of discussing my 1st graders academic progress. I mean, she has a sign outside of her classroom that says "Welcome to GordoNation". That's a good sign, right?  

I'm supposed to meet someone for dinner on the Plaza tonight too. We went to the granfaloon after game 4 of the ALCS last year and it was crowded as hell. I wonder if we'll even find a place with an open table. 

World Series Thoughts

If the Royals win tomorrow, they'll have nearly a week before the World Series starts. I wonder what Ned will do with the rotation. Set it up Ventura, Cueto, Volquez again probably. Pitching Cueto at home is probably a good idea, although I think Citi field plays big. I honestly have no idea about that though. Pure speculation.

I'm also pretty stoked to see what he does with RF after all the talk I've seen about Morales being able to play there. It would be kinda shitty to bench Rios after he's finally started to produce though. Meh. You need pinch hit options with bizarro rules baseball anyway. Might as well keep the defense where it's been all season. Dance with the girl you brought.

Special shout out to /u/caffeinatedhobbit for recommending that I post again.

I had a dream last night that I went to a dice store and bought a bunch of assorted dice. I wonder what that means. I probably have a gambling problem or something. I'm just kidding, although if I were rich, I'd gamble a lot more. Throwing around money is fun. I just can't imagine doing it with any frequency. Yeah, being Mr moneybags isn't overrated, I'm sure. You could really make some people's days. Imagine eating at Chili's or something and leaving a couple hundred dollars as a tip. The waiter would be so stoked. He'd prolly go out with his buddies and buy a couple of rounds. That would be an awesome night. Although, he'd wake up in the morning and regret it because he could have prolly paid some bills with it instead.

Buffer Badge

If basic training taught me anything, it was to respect the custodial arts. The maintenance guys are stripping and relaxing the lobby in my office building. I bet that I am the only person in my office that has ever done this to a floor. Right now, they see a dusty, listless floor and are probably a little bit turned off by it. I see a new beginning. Soon, the shine will return and the hard work that went into it will go unnoticed. I noticed, though. I appreciate the work that went into returning the shine to that surface. I earned my buffer badge in the army. I am proud of it. I hope our maintenance guys are proud of the work they are doing in our lobby.

TWO POOSTS!

Oh no! I a two poost day. In reality, the this should be my third poost but I think can't type on my phone in the middle of the night very well. I think Mitt Romney poisoned me because I voted for Obama. I haven't been on the toilet this many times in quite a while. The reality behind my political content today is to highlight the absurdity of the system we pretend to be a part of. I truly believe that voting in national elections doesn't matter. In fact, I the only reason I voted today was so Todd Akin doesn't get elected. What a dumb ass.

The Lizard King

I really hope Romney wins tonight and during his victory speech, removes his mask to reveal his true lizard form. That would make this the most epic election of all time. I got a new phone and downloaded the SwiftKey keyboard. This is the best keyboard for predictive text I've ever seen. I barely have to type any letters. I it pretty much knows what I am going to type before I type it. Lizard people control the government. The only problem is that I don't want to spend money on chiefs apparel. I just used the default words that SwiftKey suggested I use in that last sentence.

Salad

Is it even remotely possible to eat healthy while dining out? I mean, and still enjoy what you are eating. Sure you could have a dry salad and water, but is that worth going out for? I don't think so. I wonder if there are any lunch spots within 5 miles of my office that have a single item that could be considered healthy and "Low calorie". Maybe that ingredient place. I bet even grilled chicken salads at places are still at least 700 calories without dressing. Whatever. I think that if you decide to eat out, you have to give up your healthy eating, or at least any calorie restrictions you may have put on yourself. I hate when the automatic air freshener goes off while I'm in the bathroom. I don't want to smell that shit. Of course, the next dude doesn't want to smell my shit either. I wonder if that thing is on a timer or if there is a high tech poop parts per million (pppm) analyzer that determines when to spray it.