I had a dream last night that I went to a dice store and bought a bunch of assorted dice. I wonder what that means. I probably have a gambling problem or something. I'm just kidding, although if I were rich, I'd gamble a lot more. Throwing around money is fun. I just can't imagine doing it with any frequency. Yeah, being Mr moneybags isn't overrated, I'm sure. You could really make some people's days. Imagine eating at Chili's or something and leaving a couple hundred dollars as a tip. The waiter would be so stoked. He'd prolly go out with his buddies and buy a couple of rounds. That would be an awesome night. Although, he'd wake up in the morning and regret it because he could have prolly paid some bills with it instead.

Buffer Badge

If basic training taught me anything, it was to respect the custodial arts. The maintenance guys are stripping and relaxing the lobby in my office building. I bet that I am the only person in my office that has ever done this to a floor. Right now, they see a dusty, listless floor and are probably a little bit turned off by it. I see a new beginning. Soon, the shine will return and the hard work that went into it will go unnoticed. I noticed, though. I appreciate the work that went into returning the shine to that surface. I earned my buffer badge in the army. I am proud of it. I hope our maintenance guys are proud of the work they are doing in our lobby.

TWO POOSTS!

Oh no! I a two poost day. In reality, the this should be my third poost but I think can't type on my phone in the middle of the night very well. I think Mitt Romney poisoned me because I voted for Obama. I haven't been on the toilet this many times in quite a while. The reality behind my political content today is to highlight the absurdity of the system we pretend to be a part of. I truly believe that voting in national elections doesn't matter. In fact, I the only reason I voted today was so Todd Akin doesn't get elected. What a dumb ass.

The Lizard King

I really hope Romney wins tonight and during his victory speech, removes his mask to reveal his true lizard form. That would make this the most epic election of all time. I got a new phone and downloaded the SwiftKey keyboard. This is the best keyboard for predictive text I've ever seen. I barely have to type any letters. I it pretty much knows what I am going to type before I type it. Lizard people control the government. The only problem is that I don't want to spend money on chiefs apparel. I just used the default words that SwiftKey suggested I use in that last sentence.